• When: 2023-03-07
  • QIC: Fool's Gold
  • The PAX: Socrates, Soccer Mom, Buddy Love, Incognito, Speedo, Lumbergh, Milkman, Laettner, Box Wine, Bird Strike, Hostel, FG

West Virginia Ninja and the Temple of (Mount) Doom


The PAX were greeted with absolutely perfect conditions this morning….58 degrees and a slight breeze out of the Southwest. The skies were mostly clear and the moon shone brightly, surely a portent of the fun YHC had in store for the men (and don’t call me Shirley).

Despite the lunar haze, with the one minute warning called out, the PAX searched the sky for Elon’s toys (or perhaps a communist balloon filled with toys of a different nature altogether). Finding none, the clock struck 0530, and after a quick disclaimer YHC promised we’d be doing something new today.

YARN | I've got a bad feeling about this. | Indiana Jones and the Kingdom  of the Crystal Skull (2008) | Video clips by quotes | 43b212a8 | 紗


Nothing new here, except a little briefer than normal….standard Depot warm up fare consisting of:

  • SSH x 10 IC
  • Hillbillies (yee haw!)  x 10 IC
  • TTT x 10 IC
  • Take a lap around the “Big Loop”, ~0.25 miles and regroup at the parking lot for
  • Calf Raises x 10 IC 


We moseyed to the bottom of the hill where YHC began an epic tale of high adventure that would frame the instructions for THE THANG. The PAX were enthralled (as was evidenced by their eye rolling, moans and groans, and continued stargazing), but YHC was soon interrupted by Roll Tide (a local Pokémon Go legend who posts at Depot more than 80% of the PAX on the Depot chat) when she rolled up in her car, a mixture of desire, lust, and latte in her eyes and ready to open a can of whoop ass on an invisible Pikachu.

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But I digress….the story goes that YHC’s former career had him staying in the Hartsville area a few days a week and he would often post there. It’s a great group of guys, much like F3LM they cut up on each other, help one another when needed, and like to get after it. Every Wednesday they do a workout called “Temple” which consists of the following:

You have 30 minutes to complete as many rounds of these as possible, decreasing by one rep each time:

  • 20 merkins, 20 LBCs, 20 Squats
  • Run to the bottom of the hill (~0.15 miles)
  • 19 merkins, 19 LBCs, 19 Squats
  • Run to the top of the hill (~0.15 miles)
  • Rinse and repeat, dropping one rep each time, trying to get as far as you can in the 30 minutes

Total distance is about a 5k, so getting that and doing all the exercises in 30 minutes is a challenge, and the PAX who complete it are revered throughout the space-time continuum. They receive a glorious award and are granted the right of prima nocte with the region’s “weasel shaker”….in fact that is part of the origin of the name. 

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The hill at Hartsville is a little steeper than Mount Doom at Depot (aka the Shitty Hill that takes you to the main road), so I stretched our distance out a little bit to about 0.17 miles. Here’s the elevation profile for those keeping track….

The PAX ranged from completing anywhere from 12 reps remaining to 7 reps remaining in this inaugural version of Depot’s version of Temple, so no weasels were shaken today unfortunately, but we have a benchmark going forward.

After the fun was done we circled up for some Dealer’s Choice Mary which included:

  • Socrates – Dying Cockroaches x 10 IC
  • Milkman – Iron Crosses x 10 IC
  • Hostel – Rosalitas x 10 IC
  • Bird Strike – Bolivian Bowflexes x 15 seconds

COT, BOM, End workout


TClaps to F3 Hartsville that introduced me to the Temple workout and the 11 PAX that showed today to try something new and help me celebrate 6 years with F3!

It’s been a whirlwind of a last 6 years, lots of great F3 memories from that first day of Handball at Depot a cold March morning to today’s plagiarized workout on a warm March morning.  In between there have been literally hundreds of boot camps, run groups, and missed lay ups (ok maybe 1,000’s on that last one). I’ve run with you knuckleheads, or indirectly because of you knuckleheads, nearly 20 races (some where awards were won #TheGoldenShovel #TheRealDepotTrain). We’ve climbed mountains, drank beers, camped in the rain, slept in vans, and earned innumerable points together (actually I could count them up #spreadsheets).

I suppose the best parts are the laughs. They come often and when I need them (#TWSS) and remind me on those shitty days I don’t want to show up why I’m glad I did in the end.

It’s been a helluva ride thus far gents and I look forward to much more to come. I appreciate y’all!

PS TClaps to Socrates for making the trip over to Depot to help us celebrate.


Convergence, 0630 this coming Saturday @ F3Strut. Come visit w/your F3LM Brothers from other AOs and get a solid beat down to boot.


Little Zack – for healing hands, wisdom for the docs, and comfort for Whitney and his M while the little guy heals up and bounces back.

Moose/Box Wine – two of the best guys I know who both have had some tough losses recently….comfort for them and their families

Unspoken – this group has been through a lot and some are going through things we don’t know about right now. If this is you, call me or any of the guys listed in this BB. We are here for you.



Indiana Jones>Keeping up with the Joneses>Keeping up with the Kardashians

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