• When: 2017-09-14
  • QIC: Mac
  • The PAX: Columbo, Double Fault, Alter boy, Etch a Sketch, T Spot, Cheddar, No Show, FNG - Matinee, Ocho Cinco, Tuff Guy, Mac

Ode to Jumanji

11 Pax of the Herd gathered in the gloom

To greet the traveling Q from Crypt

“Oh what crazy things he will bring,” they assume

“I’ve heard he has made Pax do flips!”


The FNG was warned beforehand

That not all things will be good,

But no one really warned the man

About ball busters and morning wood!


With a quick disclaimer and a ball of man

The morning was just getting started.

But during the squats we had just began

I swear that somebody sharted!


We moseyed around and then we stopped

At a corner of the parking lot

The real men exercised there

While others found a spot that was soft


We kicked in the air and laid on the ground

Feeling off balance and unsure

And whoever came up the crazy names

Must be sick with something that has no cure!


Running down to the school yard

Where the buses line up in the back

The bald guy made us bear crawl

And do burpees until we wanted to yak!


On the benches we dipped with fury

And step-ups until we winced with pain

But the mumblechatter never ceased

And oh look we are dipping again!


To Hamburger Hill we travelled

Where it smells of yesterday’s pickle

Then just as everyone expected

The Q called the Triple Nickle!


These numbers just don’t add up

The Pax complained you see

That stupid guy said triple

But nothing is coming to three!


After trudging up and down the hill

With sweat our shirts were soaked

The Q finally called “Recover”

And the Pax were really stoked!


And up the road the Q did wander

But before the flag he stopped

We circled up one last time

From plank to our sixes we flopped


Back to flag he called

And our hearts cried with glee

And then it was that joyous time

To name the FNG


We circled up and counted

Called our names for all to hear

With a prayer and a devo they said

“Hey Mac don’t come back for a year!”