So what do you get when you cross a Plan B with a Tory?
More silence…. Deafening silence…..
Okay, so I know your first instinct was to shout “a super sexy man beast!”
But no, the answer we are looking for is a “Plory”…. Get it?!?!
And just what is a Plory, you ask?
Only the greatest tag team combo of all time!
Yep… Even better than you, Hawk & Animal!
Anywho, by my count we had 8 pax in the cool Foxhole gloom this morning (plus a few not yet set-in skid mark stains, and a couple of greasy onion fajita clingers. Side bar, Fajita Clinger may need to be a strong contender for the next Foxhole FNG). But back to the business at hand. Everyone appeared ready to have their blocks rocked by the Dynamic Duo, and that’s just what they got. Plain and simple.
- No outlandish themes (for the most part).
- No big pomp and circumstance (all of that was being held at Strut for Fiji’s Bday Q… By the way, Happy Birthday, Brother! I hope I’m half the stud you are when I reach Methuselah status with you!)
- And no really bad music (This one’s not altogether true. But remember beauty is in the eye of the Limp Bizkit fan club card holder).
So clearly I’m lying through my teeth (or fingers? Not sure). There was actually a little bit of each of these. But at least two things were certain…
- There was NOTHING easy or comfortable about this workout.
- There were NO Taylor Swift songs played this morning.
A win win if you ask me! But the other half of this tag team (his name rhymes with Tory) would undoubtedly disagree with the TayTay part.
So here’s how it went down this morning. You’re welcomed in advance!
CONDITIONS: 36 and chilly
I. Two ‘til Devo:
Are you playing it safe with God?
II. Disclaimer & Warmup:
Plan B & Tory (5 min)
So this is the part of the workout where the whole Co-Q thing came into play. The alternating Tory/PB warmup was wildly successful and received rave reviews from the pax.
- Tory – SSH x 20
- Plan B – Imperial Walker x 10
- Tory – Through the Tunnel x 10
- Plan B – Hillbilly x 10
- Tory – Little Arm Circle x 10 (both ways)
- Plan B – Overhead Arm Clap x 20
- Tory – Windmill x 10
- Plan B – Squats x 10
The rest of the boot camp would consist of rotations of Plan B and Tory for 10 minutes. YHC was lucky enough to go first. Or should I say the pax were lucky enough Plan B got to kick things off???
III. Brute Swole Ups:
Plan B, Part I (10 min)
I’m sure everyone is familiar with the Fruit Roll Up… that timeless, sweet, sticky, non-perishable sheet of sugary goodness you used to get in your lunchbox in elementary school if your mom was feeling extra cool the night before when she threw together your lunch.
Well the F3 equivalent of the Fruit Roll Up is the Brute Swole Up. A little ditty that includes a dizzying mix of merkins and rolling on the ground guaranteed to burn the shoulders, the chest, and maybe the cerebral cortex as the constant rolling definitely had quite a few of us swallowing back the acidic pre-merlot, gut backwash between disparaging remarks about the Q and/or his mother.
Rollin’ music selection – Rollin’ (Limp Bizkit), Proud Mary (Ike & Tina Turner), Ridin’ Dirty (Krayze Bone)
Working from the first parking lot island to the next (about 25 yards)
- 5 merkins, then do one complete roll in direction of next island
- 4 merkins, one roll
- 3 merkins, roll
- 2 merkins, roll
- 1 merkin, roll
- Start over at 5 and continue until you reach the island
- Walk back to starting point and wait for the 6
- 5 BBSU, one roll
- 4 BBSU, one roll
- 3 BBSU, roll
- until you reach next island (like merkin round)
- Wait for the 6
- Slowly and in control, move in plank position, crawling/sliding sideways back to the starting point
- PLANK position…. NOT bear crawl position. Butt down. This means you, Perdue!
IV. You’re Merkin Me Crazy:
Tory, Part I (10 min)
Oh, but the fun didn’t stop there. Enough merkins you say? Nope… Quite a few more to come in this round.
Merkin music – Push it (Salt N Peppa)
- 10 merkins
- 10 squats
- 10 merkins
- 10 squats
- Rinse & Repeat for 10 minutes
- This sucks!
V. ‘Levens for the Legs:
Plan B, Part II (10 min)
Now a little over halfway home, we began to hear faint rumblings growing louder.
“That’ll be quite enough of that upper body stuff! We need some love too!”
It was our weak, deteriorating legs crying out for some attention. And as you know, the squeaky wheels get the grease. So away we go!
No specific tunes for this one, but I do recall Iron Man (Ozzy) and maybe Welcome to the Jungle (GNR) during this stretch.
Elevens with squats at the bottom of the hill, Jump Squats at the top
- 10 squats, run up the hill, 1 jump squat, run down
- 9 squats, run hill, 2 jump squats, run down
- 8 & 3
- 7 & 4
- Continue to 1 & 10
VI. The Closer:
Tory, Part II (10 min)
Like any good team, we went to the closer to finish things off. Long after the humor of the fart jokes (and shart jokes), the “yo mommas”, and the “that’s what she said’s” had worn off, there was still work to be done. What better way to finish things off than to throw in some upper and lower body shenanigans.
- Mosey to the planters
- 10 step ups
- 10 dips
- 10 step ups
- 10 dips
- Continue for 10 minutes
VII. To The Shovel Flag:
- We done!
- Happy Birthday to resident F3LM patriarch, Fiji
- Run groups aplenty, find one
- Camping trip moved to March (rescheduled from last weekend)
- look for info on lunches/happy hour events
- sign up to Q (or co-Q). Today was fun just mixing things up with another pax.
- Thursday morning, Foxhole starts at 6:00 (1 hr. delay). Metermaid is your Q.
- Hope everyone has a safe and happy Thanksgiving. Everyone at FH and throughout F3LM are definitely a blessing to me.
- And last but not least:
- Clemson 146 – Lamecocks 9
- But Menstrualcramp gets a big payday as Ray tells him to get the hell out of his dumpster fire of mediocrity.
Thanks for playing along today…. it was “fun”!
PB & Tory