Conditions
Partly starry turning to sunny (or as those damn pessimists would say “partly cloudy”), 40 degrees Fahrenheit, 4.4 degrees Celsius. 277.6 degrees Kelvin, 6 degrees Kevin Bacon….perfect handball weather (or as those damn pessimists would say “too cold for fun”).
Disclaimer and Warm Up
SSH x 20 IC
Big Arm Circles OYO as you mosey to the lighted stage.
The Thang (with a pinch of Moleskin)
Whilst some of the @F3Depot HIM were taking a leisurely (~30k) stroll in Harry Bison State Forest, and others are training for something called a “Kiawah Marathon”, YHC and 12 HIM of @F3Depot had some business to take care of under the lights at Ballentine Park. Rumor has it the park is soon to be re-named “Stagecoach Ballentine Park” after our fearless and astute AOQ risked life and limb while skillfully navigating the bowels of City Hall (explicit lyrics below) to illuminate the fields for the best Handballers in all the land.
As Bellhop once proclaimed, “when it’s Saturday, it’s Handball…” and on this 18th day of November, in the year of our Lord 2017, no truer a statement has been said. Handball holds a special place in the heart (and ummm hand…also YHC supposes) for YHC. Handball was on the docket for YHC’s first ever F3 post way back when in March 2017. That very moment, of course, was prophesied by the late great Alec Guinness, in that 1977 one-hit wonder of a movie, Star Wars when he said:
Little did YHC know then, as he was but a zygote in May 1977 when the film was released, what the world of F3 would be all about.
Handball was again the activity de jour (French for, “activity of the jour”) for YHC’s VQ in May 2017, the exploits of which can be found in all their glory here:
http://f3nation.com/2017/05/20/39-year-old-virgin-q/
Today’s edition of Handball had a few twists for the PAX to enjoy, described below.
- Picking Teams – PAX were assembled at midfield in a line with the most F3-tenured PAX (Brother Si I believe) at the front of the line, with PAX decreasing in tenure to the back of the line to our most recent F3 brother (Moose……knuckle). The PAX were then challenged to make a goal from this distance, with the first 6 making it playing against the 7 who did not. Few observations here:
- It is pretty freaking hard to keep a handball airborne for half the length of the field (Tclaps to Blart for being the only PAX to accomplish this feat!)
- With a few exceptions (JD, EZ), the lesser F3 tenured PAX were the ones who made this goal…just sayin….
- Jerseys – the 6 man Young Guns team got the gold jerseys….7 man team got the blood red jerseys…..foreshadowing here.
- Goalie Switching – in an effort to spread the kind of love that only balls flying at your face at 70 mph can provide, if a goalie got scored on, he would swap out with another PAX.
- Victoria’s Secret – men have long wondered just what the hell this secret is….and who is Victoria for that matter….and why is she hiding things from us…..this makes men sad. YHC was using a classic bit of misdirection here, but it did provide for some interesting mumblechatter involving lotions and edible bloomers this morning.
- The Power Play – perhaps the biggest rule change here was that if you scored a goal, you were removed from the game. Before returning the PAX that scored the goal must do 10 merkins and run a lap around the Handball field. YHC’s thought here was to make things a little more competitive…and to eff with the otherwise perfect game of Handball (a la the Nintendo Power Glove…anyone remember this POS??).
With the instructions given, the PAX proceeded with clear heads and clear hearts to battle it out in two epic games of Handball. In game one, the gold team jumped to an early lead and never really looked back (including game two) until they were checking their winning smiles in their rearview mirrors as they departed after the BOM. There were a number of amazing feats of skill, strength, and general Handballery that will be recorded in the annals of Handball for all time. A few items of note that I recall include:
- numerous one-handed catches by Bellhop
- In the dirt catches by EZ and JD
- Moose’s heisman trophy pose goal stop
- Blart’s shufflestep goal shot
- Lapdog’s INT in front of Faulkner
- Faulkner’s INT of Lapdog’s head and work in the post
Once the festivities were over, we had a little midfield prize shoot off between Lumbergh and Moose. These two titans of testicular fortitude were very evenly matched in their shooting, so at the end it came down to a bit of luck to claim the prize (copy of Freed to Lead). Congrats to Lumbergh!
Announcements
There were a number of timely and good ones here.
Our very own Brother Si will be doing his first sermon as the new senior pastor at River Springs Church this Sunday. Service starts at 1025.
F3 Christmas Party – 12/2/17 is event at Portrait Hill (see twitter or Uncle Rico for details), money ($13 per person) and HC both due to Uncle Rico by 11/24/17. Anyone with stand up patio heaters please let him know. Leave the kiddos at home, unless they are of legal drinking age.
F3 Lake Murray Shirts are available! – Skellifish (only 9 of 12 necessary so far) and Anchor (only 7 of necessary 12 so far) options are available, also Magoo has one he put together for trail runners (0 of necessary 12 so far) (links below).
F3 Lake Murray Anchor Pre-Order
F3 Lake Murray Skelifish Pre-Order
Coffeeteria
Prayer and BOM
Prayers for Brother Si as he begins his journey as Senior Pastor at River Springs.
Prayer’s for LapDog as he visits the gyno after some mid-game injuries at the hands of Faulkner 🙂
Devo – As a Man Thinketh
YHC recently heard from a friend about a book recommendation. The book is James Allen’s As a Man Thinketh, which despite dating back to 1903, has a lot of useful information which is still applicable today. The book deals with the role your thoughts have on your health, state of mind, your purpose in life, and illustrates how we are not defined as men by our circumstances. This book is about a 30 minute read and can be downloaded at a number of places on the interweb including here…..
https://wahiduddin.net/thinketh/as_a_man_thinketh.pdf
A HIM named Chris Westra took Allen’s original book, a bit of which is in ye olde English, and clarified it some, this is available here….
http://asamanthinkethnewversion.com/AsAManThinkethNewVersion1.pdf
Summarized below are some of Mr. Allen’s thoughts YHC shared…
A man is literally what he thinks and his character is the complete sum of all his thoughts. Man is growth by law and the cause and effect in his life are the natural result of continued effort. Man can be made or unmade by himself and holds the key to every situation, containing within himself that transforming and regenerative agency by which he may make himself what he wills. The soul of a man will reach the height of its cherished aspirations or it will fall to the level of its unchastened desires. A man cannot directly choose his circumstances, but he can choose his thoughts, and so indirectly, yet surely, shape his circumstances.
TL:DR
Think good thoughts = Handball good
See you HIM in the gloom!