Five contestants pax ventured to the squishy tundra of Foxhole this morning not knowing yet what was in store. To their surprise, the stage had been set. Tokens in place. All was prepared. The only thing left to do was man up and dive in. YHC got to Foxhole nice and early to grab some of the various toys we’ve used over the years that had been “borrowed” and scattered across campus. But by the time the starting gun was loaded and ready to fire, all was in place and ready to roll.
In an effort to spice things up and pay homage to some of the meatheads that came before us, today we barked, grunted, and manned our way through Foxhole’s version of a World’s Strongest Man competition. For the 4 of you that grew up in the 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s that are not familiar with the Strongman competitions, I’m sorry… Your childhood must have been crap! Relax, I’m kidding.
In my opinion, WSM was very much like the movie “The Roadhouse”, if you crossed it while flipping through the channels, you couldn’t help but get drawn in. It was hard to tell if the commentators were being serious or not, but it was easy to see that the half-ton Scandinavian dudes competing were taking it VERY seriously. It was awesome! I highly encourage you to go back and look up some old clips. What the hay, I’ll do it for you… take a few minutes to look through these gems. Glorious!
Here’s how it all went down this morning…
CONDITIONS:
70 degrees and seasonably humid
THE THANG:
Disclaimer & Warmup:
- SSH x 25
- SSh x 20
- Through the tunnel x 10
- Imperial Walker x 15
- Windmill x 10
- Hillbilly x 15
- Imperial Squat x 10
- Mosey to the practice field
- Get a block
- Since practice field was mushy, we kept things in the parking lot
Foxhole’s Strongest Man:
1._The Magnus Ver Magnusson
Magnus was once the King of the Atlas Stones. And to pay our respects to his greatness, we will take these here cinder blocks, and throw them as far as we can over and over and over and over. This will get you grunting louder than a Women’s Russian National Tennis match…. Or a ginormous Scandinavian dude throwing massive stones as far as he can.
- Take your block and throw it as far as you can in the direction of the other endzone.
- Go pick up your block and throw it again.
- And again.
- And again.
- And again, until you get to the opposite endzone.
- Pick up your block and mosey back to start with it.
2._The Bill Kazmaier
Bill “Keg Tossin” Kazmaier was a beast when it came to throwing a keg over a high jump bar. So today we will toss some tires (and hope one of the pax knows how to pop a hernia back in if something goes awry)!
- holding a small tire with both hands, swing it between legs like a kettle bell, then throw it as high in the air as you can
- Do 10 reps with each tire
- Other pax will rotate through 10 Merkins, 10 Squats, 10 BBSU when not tossing.
3. The Magnus Samuelsson
Famed strongman who used to OWN the car carry. But seeing as though we don’t have a Pinto or Gremlin on hand to throw around as they did back in the day, we will do the tire flip.
- All pax line up single file
- Each pax will flip big tire 2x towards the other end zone and go to back of line
- When not flipping, all pax doing burpees
- We will flip to the 50 and back.
4. The Svend Karlsen
Record holder in my personal favorite event, the car flip, this exercise is a blend of speed and strength that includes a 100 meter sprint stopping only to flip a car over in a massive display of brute strength. Again, since we Perdue and YHC were not willing to sacrifice our sedans, we will modify.
- First pax will do farmers carry, taking two 5 gallon buckets 1/2 full of concrete (approx 30-40 lbs) 75 yards, where he will drop them and sprint back
- Next pax will sprint to get buckets and carry them back to start
- continue to drop off/pick up until all pax have gone.
- When not carrying the load, pax will do deep squats with cinder blocks until their turn to rock.
5. The Mariusz Pudzianowski
This 5 time World’s Strongest Man is lovingly known in his Native Poland as “Pudzian” which I can only hope translates to something along the lines of “Big Puddin”, because Pudzian is a pretty crappy nickname to have. Anywho, for our final event, we will take a car tire and chunk it as far as we can from a starting line. The pax that tosses it the farthest (where it lands, no roll included) is the grand champion and Foxhole’s Strongest Man.
- Plan B – 4 Parking spaces
- Perdue – DQ… not only did his toss not land in the grid, but it hit me in the face as I marked my toss… Which as the creator and self-proclaimed judge of every event this morning, absolutely disqualifies Perdue from contention despite his toss potentially carrying 5+ parking spaces.
- Gerrymander – Also DQ – He pulled his toss and missed the grid altogether. Plus, he shat himself in the process… not pretty.
- Depends – 3.5 parking spaces earns him the title “Foxhole’s Strongest Senior Citizen”.
- Tory – Foul – he stepped over the line
So it’s official…
Plan B is your 2019 FOXHOLE STRONGEST MAN!
Well done, you stud!
To the Flag:
MOLESKIN:
- This Friday is the first 2.0 workout of the summer. Plan for Foxhole @ 7:00 for 30 minute workout. Always a highlight of the summer! Please join us.
- Prayers for Bates/Porter families after tragic death of 2 year old son/grandson
- Prayers for the Hatcher family, cancer has returned, waiting on next steps.
DEVO:
Ephesians 6:10
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.
- No matter how big your muscles are, or how long you’ve trained, or how many competitions you win, there is only one with true power. The power to heal, restore, and judge.
- These are two heavy, heavy prayer requests shared today. I cannot fathom what it’s like to lose a child, much less in a tragic accident. I certainly hope I would find peace and hope in Jesus, knowing that my child would be in His care, but I cant imagine the void left behind and the pain the family is learning to live with. My heart breaks for them, but my hope still lies in the POWER and STRENGTH of our Lord and I’m 100% certain He will continue to be with the family and will draw them closer through this.
- And as I’m sure many, many AO’s have regular prayer requests dealing with cancer and other illness, the ones that hit close to home always feel so much more dire. Maybe it’s childish, maybe i’m oversimplifying a very complicated ideal, but we know there is only one true source of miracles. And through our prayer and intercession, we have the relationship with our Lord that allows us an avenue to plead for these miracles. It’s never inappropriate to ask for help! I tell my kids that, and I don’t think twice to do the same in my relationship with Jesus. We are not meant to know all and have all the answers, but we have a direct line to the one who does. Use it.
As always, this morning was a fun one. Can’t wait to see you in the gloom again next time!
PB