• When: 1/29/13
  • QIC: Beano
  • The PAX: St. Joe, Logo, Robber, Mission, Woody, Heartbreaker, Crawlspace, Mel, Greenpeace, Tahj, Seeker, Dr. Phil, Tonto, Beano, Mule, Audit, Wide Right, Cheesy, Sled, Roscoe, Chaser, Rosebud, Puddin', Padre, Gekko (FNG Will Lowman)

Beano's Beatdown

But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he today that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin’s day.
— William Shakespere, “Henry V”


Lt. Colonel “Beano,” US Army (active duty), asked for the Q and delivered an epic old-school beat down upon the 25 pax gathered around the virtual shovel flag assembled at Dreher High School in the Columbia gloom. Anyone present who doubted the fitness of our fighting forces quickly discarded those feelings as Beano set a fast pace, called out laggers, and inflicted severe punishment. Nobody ever said it would be easy.

Conditions: 43 degrees, overcast


The Thang:

Circle of Pain:
30 side straddle hops
15 (four count) Merkins
30 regular sit ups
15 (four count) wide arm Merkins
30 rocky sit ups
15 (two count) close hand Merkins
30 (four count) flutter kicks
15 (two count) Merkins
20 (four count) hello Dollies (leg spreader)
15 (two count) wide arm Merkins
20 (four count) flutter kicks
15 (two count) close hand Merkins

Move to Heartbreaker’s Brickpile:
20 (four count) alternating bricks above the head
20 (four count) alternating bricks to the front (flutter kicks with bricks)
20 (four count) alternating bricks to the side
20 (four count) bent over rows with cinderblock
20 (four count) little baby crunches
15 (four count) inclined Merkins on cinderblock
20 (four count) Russion twists with bricks
20 (four count) cinderblock curls…and then curling cinderblocks to turn in point
Alternating bricks above the head to turn in point

Move to sideline — Get in straight line (double arm interval):
Bear crawl 50 meters
15 repetitions of long jump then immediately execute a burpee

(Prematurely moved into close Circle of Pain)
30 (four count) flutter kicks
Merkin half ups/downs
People’s Chair for a minute
20 (four count) body squats

Circle of Trust — Circled up for head count, accountability, information dissemination


  • Operator error on my alarm clock this morning caused me to miss this session, but when my inbox exploded just prior to 7:00am, I knew this one was epic. Later phone calls have confirmed this. Well done, Beano, and I am devastated to have missed it. #NextTime
  • There was virtually no chatter.  Speculation is no one could form words. #TBQ
  • Noteable quotes: “More crunches than Nestle.” “I couldn’t lift my arm to shave afterwards.” “That was BS.”
  • Mission ordered a weight vest and chose today to break it in for the first time. Mistake.
  • The pax were relieved Beano did not wear his Ranger panties.
  • Lesson: don’t be last lest you be on the receiving end of Beano’s call-outs: “We are waiting on YOU”
  • T-claps to FNG Gekko – you picked a heck of a day for your first post.
  • Logo and Mule will split the Q on Thursday.
  • I think this one will go down in the annals as one of the best and hardest ever, and the 25 assembled – the few, the happy few – will tell tales of it for a long time, proud they were a part.

Nothing follows, Mission Complete!

0 thoughts on “Beano's Beatdown”

  1. That session owned me this morning. There’s a grinding sound coming from my left shoulder that’s a constant reminder of all the merkins.

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