The Cottonmouth – Halloween Edition
Make no mistake about it – last year’s Cottonmouth was one to be remembered. The trek from Dutch Square Mall to the Capital steps was a momentous occasion. 112 PAX endured weird stares, drudged through the waters, gave it their all in an epic tug-of-war battle, and ended with stories to share with fellow PAX for years to come.
It’s time to create some new memories! It’s time to ask yourself, “Can I take on The Cottonmouth?” “Do I have what it takes?” Of course you do! I once heard the late great Dale Earnhardt say, “If you’re not an [F3er], stay the hell home. Put a kerosene rag around your ankles so the ants won’t climb up and eat that candy ass.” True story.
Okay, maybe not entirely true. But we are F3 and we don’t back down for nothin’. Especially a #CSAUP.
So here’s what’s up…
The Cottonmouth has a new time, new route, new challenges, new logo, and new adventures.
“What exactly is The Cottonmouth?”
I’m glad you asked. It’s an 8-10 mile trek from Seven Oaks Park (beloved birthplace of our area F3) to Harbison State Forest. A “trek” is not a run, or a ruck – but it’s not just a hike, either. A ruck is not required, but it’s not discouraged. While this will be “ruck-friendly”, remember, you bring it, you carry it. We will assemble at Seven Oaks Park and move “en masse” up Piney Grove Road, across I-26 (no, I-26 will not be a pain-station), and make our way into Harbison State Forest – where the real fun begins.
“When is this epic event going to take place?”
“Now wait just a damn minute! South Carolina football is on TV that day.”
South Carolina plays Tennessee at a TBD time. But, Tennessee, sooo…
“But Pothole, won’t I miss my regular Saturday workout?”
Yes. Yes, you will. But the guaranteed pain-stations along the way will more than make up for it.
“Why aren’t we trekking through water on our way to the State Capital?”
Lots of reasons. But the biggest – something new.
“Why didn’t we do this back in July like last year’s Cottonmouth?”
Because I’m the Q, and I said so. Seriously though… Every year the ever increasing numbers of F3 look for something new. Whether your koolaid is rucking, marathoning, relay racing, fart sacking, or spending time at the beach with the kiddos and M, our schedules are getting fuller and fuller. Summer is over. Kids are in school. The weather is starting to cool off. So it’s time to give your mind, friendships, and body something to do. Something to fill in the gap until that next #CSAUP.
“What kind of equipment do I need? Do I need one of those ruck thingys?”
You and your workout attire (please do not show up naked – although, you’ll definitely make a name for yourself if you do). Additionally, you may want to consider the following: high socks, *possible* warm gear, a head-lamp, and a hydration pack. If you need to eat every 10 minutes, beef jerky is always a proud manly choice. Again, a ruck is *not* required. But it will be ruck friendly. Just remember, you bring it, you carry it.
“Halloween edition? Am I required to wear a costume?”
No. You can keep the purple Teletubbies costume in your closet. However, at some point you’ll be divided into 2 teams, and the best costume is one of the challenges. Soooo…
“How much of my day do you plan on taking up?”
For the purposes of reporting to your M, wheels up at 0600, endex at noon-ish. If we end before that, the choice is yours as to how quickly you want to rush home and mow the grass and wash the car.
“T-shirts and CSAUP events have eaten all of my allowance. How much is this going to cost me?”
You get all of the fun and adventure for the one-time fee of: zero dollars. There may be a passing of the hat to help with any additional water/ice/etc. There will also be a new t-shirt for purchase. You know you need another workout shirt.
“I get scared walking through the woods in broad daylight – can my 2.0 come? Who’s invited?”
If your 2.0 is a teenager and mentally and physically capable of trying to charm the Cottonmouth, then bring him along to hold your hand. Otherwise, any F3 PAX is welcome. And please, by all means, bring an FNG! This will be the perfect opportunity to properly introduce them to F3.
“I don’t want to be a part of the Cottonmouth because [insert lame excuse here], but I’d like to help out. Do you have a job for me?”
That’s mighty 3rd F of you. We’ll give you a hall-pass this time. There’s a need for logistical support, communications, hydration station, and a few surprise pain stations. Please sound off below with “support”.
“Walking around town at 0600. Unknown surprises in Harbison Forest. Unknown coupons to carry. Challenges. 8-ish miles. Good times with my fellow PAX. I’m in!”
Comment below with “HC.” You’ve got about 5 weeks. But don’t wait! HC now!