CONDITIONS/FORESKIN
Conditions were the same as Susanna Hoffs internet fan base (save YHC who is 43)…..lower 60’s, mostly dry with a hint of Ben Gay, and a lot of dudes walking like Egyptians….
In this case, the Egyptian-walking was due to lower back and high ass meat issues related to a few hundred yards of #MurderBunnies from the Iron PAX (IPC) Week 4 @F3Depot on Tuesday. #NoMercy
Dear IPC,
Thank you for all the memories, scars, and tears. We’ll see you next year, till then….
Signed,
The PAX of the nation’s unauthorized representative, YHC.
But YHC digresses, 13 of the manliest #MenOfDepot gathered with YHC on Thursday to celebrate YHCs 43rd trip around the Sun. How best to celebrate a birthday???…..with fun and games, of course!
YHC arrived a few minutes early and set out a mysterious cone with a flashing light along the entrance road (what is this???) as well as a plastic bin full of games and toys (ooooohhh!!!) in the parking lot.
Not those kinds of “toys” of course….
…we’ll save that kinda stuff for the Depot chat, but random ones that had been hastily gathered from YHC’s house as part of a clever ruse to make the PAX think the workout would be fun instead of “fun” (see any Joanna Q, 2020).
More to come on that (#TWSS….unrelated note, RIP to Stagecoach’s melatonin levels, Pothole’s high energy use Android phone, and Joanna’s day planner all of which caused rescinding of HCs or outright #fartsacking).
DISCLAIMER/WARM UP
After the disclaimer, we jumped right into the warm up consisting of:
- SSH X 10 IC
- Mosey to bottom of the hill
- TTT X 10 IC (took it a little slow in the middle to keep it sexy and throw off the rhythm of PAX trying to disrupt YHCs count….just isn’t as effective without Coppertone there, side note: Coppertone, your #UTP block misses you)
- Mosey to bottom of first entrance
- Failure of Failures to Launch
- They say the memory is the first thing to go (or is it the penis….I think it’s the penis, but I forget), but YHC ended up calling squats in cadence after forgetting how this exercise goes
- Mosey to top of the hill, YHC thinking hard along the way
- Failures to Launch (YHC remembered!) – starting at 10 down to 1 and back to 10 for one last one #crowdpleaser
Grab your custom #UTP block and circle up for further instruction!
THE THANG
As the #MenOfDepot gathered, YHC pulled the toy bin to the circle, along with a white board, before producing a spiral bound 50-page weinke the likes of which has not been seen since Leslie Knope roamed the halls of the Pawnee Parks and Rec. Department (another side note, Leslie Knope would be a bad ass FNG name).
as seen below….
YHC began thumbing through the tome and gave some unintelligible instructions about what we’d be doing today (see IPC week 2, 2020, also most of YHCs other Q’s 2017-2020, last Hostel Q) and how PAX would have to refer to their own copies of the document to complete the workout.
This of course was another clever ruse (is it douchie to refer to yourself as “clever”???) as it was merely a cover page on a soil and rock classification manual.
Table 2.1 of this manual does have some useful information for your next dinner party….
…..all of the PAX present for today were of the R6 category.
No toys and no fun, we moved on to the actual workout, and real instructions, which were pretty user friendly.
There are a total of 5 exercises you must complete each round including Rows, Tricep Extensions, Curls, Overheads, and Big Boys. You can do them in any order or break them up in any fashion.
Once a round is complete you can either run the 1/4 mile loop down the hill around the entrance road and and back up again OR Cusack your block down to the flashing light at the bottom of the hill (a much shorter distance) and return back for the next round. #Choices
The reps were as follows:
- Round 1 – 42 reps
- Round 2 – 40 reps (some relief for the PAX second go round)
- Round 3 – 30 reps
- Round 4 – 20 reps
- Round 5 – 10 reps
Only exception to the above was that the cone mysteriously moved at first closer than originally placed, then farther away. Roll Tide must have been involved in some way.
Time up, put away blocks, COT/BOM
MOLESKIN
I usually end with the TClaps, but it’s my birthday and I’ll cry if I want to and TClap when I want to.
So many TClaps from yesterday….
TClaps to Tentpole, JDee, and Soccer Mom for finishing all 5 rounds in the allotted time! #HIM #UTP
TClaps to Devito for flying solo to complete IPC Week 4 challenge. #WabbitSeason
TClaps to JDee for the #CobraKai tracks that kept the party thumping and got the PAX ready for battle!
Most of all, TClaps to the PAX that showed today to get a little better, have some laughs, and kick some ass!
In lieu of a lengthy rambling on what I’ve learned in 43 years on the #BigBlueBall or a semi-scandalous video, a few thoughts on each of the PAX that showed for my Q below (alphabetical order so as not to let folks know who is in my will and who isn’t):
- Blart – northern by birth, southern by choice, still the best handball goalie in America in my book. Probably the guy you most want to bring with you to Ray’s Place. #Local #LadiesMan
- Buddy Love – May be the best PAX I know at throwing shade so subtly you don’t realize you are being roasted, also #ClevelandRocks
- Coach K – Great recent addition to the #MenOfDepot! Has already EH’ed two new PAX to our ranks (All In and
Just the Tip, sorry J.T.T.). Surprisingly becomes faster the more mellow the music. - Darla – Depot’s resident Maori warrior and philosopher, helluva dude and a pretty good singer when Belinda Carlisle is on.
- Devito – hands down, without question, best IPC troller who ever lived. GIF game like no other. Aluminum PAX can suck eggs.
- Hostel – glad to have him back from IR, #mumblechatter has been noticeably less saucy without him. Also star of a Vegas themed adult thriller called “Depot doing Depot Things”, (code name The Video) premiering 0630 AM tomorrow prior to Lumbergh’s Q.
- JDee – the man on a mission, yesterday was like day 35 in a row for him after a hiatus from Depot boot camps. Destined to hit 150 posts in just 5 months. Life is better (and a helluva lot more hilarious) with this guy around. #JDeeStories
- Laettner – tall, dark, and handsome baller, like his namesake, but with a little Caribbean island flare. This guy stuck with me and pushed me during IPC week 4 when I was far beyond done with killing bunnies (who would have thought there was a limit?)
- Lumbergh – lots of directions I could take this one that would be best not to put in writing #Jasmine, but I’ll say this guy is perhaps the most sincere PAX I’ve met in F3. Solid dude that makes me laugh without fail. Oh and those calves, #ChickenAndWaffles
- Moose – my brother in arms and Co-AOQdom at Depot. Professional sandbagger who will burn you in a jailbreak. Brother Si summed it up best in his diary #Specimen
- Soccer Mom – another relative newcomer and great addition to Depot who’s been on fire w/F3. Often putting in work before and after boot camps to #Accelerate. #UTP status without question.
- Tentpole – Every AO needs a “rabbit” to chase. A PAX who is at the front of the pack that makes you better when you try to keep up. Tentpole is that dude. He’s probably faster than you (and certainly me) and is gonna make you earn it. Glad to have him back.
- Trampstamp – Another guy who has been on fire w/F3 recently, rucking and boot camping and sticking a boot up the IPCs ass all month. So glad to see this guy back out in the gloom getting better every time. Speaks softly, but is hilarious when he does.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
- Big time players coming out of the woodwork to Q at Depot over the next month. Come on out and get some!
- 9/26 – Lumbergh
- 9/29 – Moose
- 10/1 – The Pothole
- 10/3 – Joanna
- 10/6 – Surprise Q!!!
- 10/8 – Soft…Toss Bday Q!
- 10/10 – Bellhop presents “The Soft Toss”
- 10/13 – Laettner
- 10/15 – STH
- 10/17 – Joanna
- 10/20 – Lumbergh Bday Q
- 10/22 – Moose 3 year!
- 10/24 – OPEN – Get it while it’s hot!
- 10/4 – The Donut Run rides again, this time from Lowman Home/Chicken Butt Donuts. 0530 start time, see Magoo for details.
- Rumors of a Depot T-Shirt are swirling….if you are interested, let your voice be heard!
- F3 Lake Murray Camping trip is a go! Mark your calendars for 11/14/20, and check out all the details here CLICK ME!! This is a 2nd F event you do not want to miss.
PRAYER REQUESTS
- Big news at 2:30 AM for Arrears, Brandi, and the rest of the family on the birth of their little boy!!! #FutureManOfDepot We may finally get to name someone Grimace.
- The mad push of the August challenge immediately followed by the IPC has a few of our PAX nursing injuries or on IR currently. Soft….Toss, Hostel, Darla, and Moose, get better men!
- Kids, teachers, administrators, and parents in our first weeks of school in this new (and hopefully short-lived) era.
- Any PAX suffering from burnout following the August push. This is (hopefully) a long game we are playing here (life) and the only prescription is more cowbell (and more #DRP).
- Unspoken
TL:DR
Life is good. Thanks for another year!
The Easter Bunny>Chubby Bunny>A Bunny’s Chubby>Murder Bunnies
#SYITG!