Since the dawn of mankind, competition between humans has promoted an insatiable hunger to improve and show their dominance. Early Neanderthals honed their skills and stones to be the best hunter while simultaneously competing to be the least ugly male in their search for the perfect mate. These primitive battles for dominance helped drive the human race forward to the technologically dominant species that we are today. Without our innate need to stuff it our fellow man’s face, we would still be gathering berries today. Of course we would not have ruined our planet, killed off untold numbers of animal species and produced the Kardashians.
In the earliest days of civilized mankind, the Ancient Olympics provided the arena for men to prove their athletic prowess. Finely tuned athletes competed in events such as sprinting, discus throwing and the long jump. The winners earned the envy of all Greeks, including the hearts of the women in attendance. It is no secret that a large part of man’s desire to be the best relates to their inner desire to get some tail. To quote the once and future King Fred Durst, “I did it all for the nookie”
As BC turned to AD, man’s desire to watch and promote competition turned bloodier and more exotic. Ancient Romans would pit man against man in bloody battles to the death, with the victor being celebrated as a supreme warrior. Man was even pitted against beast in cruel and twisted death matches. The human race eventually grew tired of this spectacle, until recently when network broadcasters thought that Man vs. Beast was a good idea.
Mankind eventually grew more technically savvy and the world became more industrialized. Competitions evolved from the basic feats of strength to include bouts of intelligence, wit and musical inclination. Humans were celebrated for their ability to rip jams of musical improvisation and funkadelic wonderment. Nerds and humanitarians across the globe battled their way to Nobel prizes. Entire countries competed to become the first in Space. Sadly though, Stanley Kubrick bested both the USA and the USSR in putting a man on the moon.
Today we are blessed and cursed to have an endless stream of televised and behind-closed-door shows of dominance. Man has continued to push the boundary of what is considered true sport. Hot Dog eating, cup stacking and tiny remote control car racing events have taken over humanity and lead our species down a downward spiral of idiocy. It is high time we regain our senses and get back to our roots of defining what a finely tuned specimen looks like.
And with this, YHC created:
Thunder Road sponsored by Emily’s ThunderPants
Conditions – 30 and quiet
The Thang –
YC devised the fitness test to measure all parts of the body, mind and spirit. More than PT, more than cardio; the sum is greater than its parts. The idea was to create a circuit of exercises that would utilize the assets of our AO. One of the best is of course Emily’s Underpants, of which is a long standing supporter of #Thunder.
Starting Point – Wheat/King corner
1 Ten Burpees (got to go ahead and crank it up)
2 Lap around Hand Middle, starting up King Street (.5+ miles)
Upon return to the starting point, enter Emily and go to the top step of the amphitheatre
3 5 decline merkins and 5 split squats per leg, per step
4 25 LBC’s at the bottom, go to playground
5 5 Pull Ups, return to amphitheatre
6 25 LBC’s
7 5 incline merkins and 5 box jumps, per step
Return to Wheat/King, and you have completed one lap
The PAX will continue to run this circuit AMRAP for the full time. Due to late arriving PAX (you would think a former AOQ like McLovin would remember where Hand is right?) and brief instructions, YHC was limited to slightly less than 40 minutes.
YHC congratulates the PAX on the full blooded effort they gave, everyone’s performance will be tracked for progress. This even will take place every 2 months. But I know what everyone reading this back blast wants to know, who is the King of #Thunder, the tamer of Emily, the Wham Bam Daddy of Hand:
COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSTANZA!
He put in a full 4 laps, plus managed to get an extra 10 burpees and a lap around Hand.
He took home the trophy and all PAX will be eager to depants him in 2 months.
Well done Costanza, well done to all who participated and gave it your best.
Take that, Lloyd Braun!